Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
