He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I want a musical about memes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
