It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
