I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
