Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
