haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just pee around me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
