So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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