I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This baby is an asshole
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
