I just saw a hot homeless man
Where is the hickey?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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