bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
