me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
