Whatcha textin bout Willis?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
