is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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