I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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