people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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