She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
