i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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