So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
