some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
