what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
