as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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