i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
