Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
