I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
