Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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