is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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