Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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