My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's like heaven, but drunker
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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