man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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