just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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