he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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