she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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