don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
