Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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