I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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