Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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