I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
