I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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