She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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