Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
