Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
