Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
bring money and cleavage
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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