you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
