Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He? As in you personified your dick?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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