You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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