ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
worst night to have a conscience
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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