i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
