So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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