just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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