if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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