Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
