So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
