I just made out with a guy for $7.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
