Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
