Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize