if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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