is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
